A Day in the Life Of
by LonelyWriter42
Summary: Being Shinō’s babysitter isn't easy and Murata would like to tell you all about his woes.
1. Yuri

A Day in the Life of: Shibuya Yūri, Maō of Shin Makoku

Author: LonelyWriter42

Summary: Being the Maō isn't easy and Yūri would like to tell you all of his woes. If I get a good response of of this, I may continue it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyō Kara Maō!, only the corner of woe that I sit in when thinking of how I don't own Kyō Kara Maō!

* * *

0613: Wake up to Günter yelling at the top of his lungs to find that Greta and Wolfram are both threatening him with knives if he doesn't leave and let them get back to sleep.

0621: Finally convince cute daughter and annoying fiancé that Günter isn't for fencing practice and wander off to the bathroom.

0645: Make it back to my bedroom to get dressed only after I was accosted by Cheri in the bathtub.

0646: Wolfram calls me a wimp for not being able to go to the bathroom by myself.

0659: Conrad shows up while I'm reading the report that Günter had brought and says that Gwendal wants to see me after which a large explosion is heard. Conrad gaves one of his tight-lipped smiles before dashing out of the room.

0703: I get to Gwendal's office (which is really my office but I like to ignore that fact), to find him lying on the floor, a light coating of ash covering his body. Murata is already there, trying hard not to laugh at von Voltaire-kyo's pain. Secretly I believe that Murata is laughing behind everyone's back.

0725: Am finally briefed on the incident that had transpired the night before while Murata runs out of the room claiming that he needed to go see Shinō but I know that he is just trying to cover up more laughter at the sight of Gwendal.

0752: The castle has been searched twice but still no one can find the crown jewels. But then again, Cheri was in the bathroom this morning so maybe she's "barrowing" them like she did with them the last time they disappeared.

0817: Breakfast is served. Not that that was an accurate description of what transpired, but that is what was supposed to be happening at this point in time.

0825: Gwendal graces us with his presence at the table after I finish pulling pieces of eggs out of my hair. Wolfram calls me a wimp again for no reason what so ever and then stocks out of the room to supposedly have fencing practice with the human children. Greta takes this moment in time to ask me the one question I have been dreading: how are babies made.

0842: After ten minuets of shock and floundering for almost ten minutes more on how to explain the delicate subject to my seven-year-old daughter, Conrad tells her that he'll explain it to her when she's older. She thanks her "Uncle" Conrad before bouncing out of her chair and disappearing to find Anissina. Conrad then turns to me and tells me that I'm needed for a ceremony at Shinō's temple.

0915: Murata greets us at the gates and instantly has to turn away so he doesn't laugh in Gwendal's face.

0916: Murata is recovered enough to inform us that him and I are needed back on Earth and will be leaving within the hour. Needless to say, Günter is not ammused.

0924: Shinō has played his biggest prank yet. My mother looks surprised to see me standing in the middle of her bath with Murata hiding behind me, but then her face clears and she jumps out of the bath yelling something about curry. I try not to barf.

0925: I was not successful.

0926: Murata joins me.

0928: I finally pull myself together enough to realize that I somehow lost the robe I was wearing when I left Shin Makoku.

0930: Murata finishes pointing and laughing then halls himself out of the bathroom to find dry clothing. After several long seconds I follow.

0943: Am force-fed curry only an hour and a half after eating breakfast. Shōri shows up and glomps me. I beat him off with a spoon before turning to Murata and ask why he needed to return to Earth. He turns to me with a grin before replying that he had a date tonight.

1003: After I am through beating the "So-called-Great-Sage" to a bloody pulp, my mother suggests that I get ready for school. I remind her that it would have started an hour-and-a-half ago if it wasn't a Sunday. She makes that face that says that she wants me out of the house so I grab Murata and head to the door. Shōri tries to follow but I remind him that he isn't done playing his latest dating sim. He blushes and runs back upstairs to his room.

1030: This day just gets weirder and weirder by the moment when Dr. Rodrigez shows up and starts a whole song and dance routine about how Murata and I are the sun and the moon and should get along forever and a day.

1035: Bob shows up.

1037: Bob finishes his lecture on some subject that I wasn't interested in. Murata starts asking questions like the intelligent person he is. Bob looks mildly surprised before he gives a slight nod like he has just remembered that Murata was Daikenja. I just stand there and look like an idiot.

1101: I am fed again, this time at some fancy and expensive restaurant whose name I cannot pronounce. Later I am told that I ate lamb brain. I strangle Murata for the third time that day.

1131: Bob gets to the real reason he is in Japan: he has finally decided to give Shōri his birthright and the title of Maō of Earth. Murata says that it's great. I just sit there with my mouth open.

1200: Bob takes us back to my house in his fancy limo. Shōri mets us at the door, "Jennifer of the Beach" right behind him. "Jennifer" squeals like a little girl then pulls Bob and Dr. Rodrigez inside and force feeds them curry. I refuse the third helping. Murata eats some so my mother's feelings won't be hurt. Shōri just stares at Bob, the controller for his game still in his hand. Murata excuses himself to the bathroom so he can throw-up.

1202: A sea-sick looking Murata is back, the slightly green tint to his skin giving it character. Bob tells my mother why he is there. She squeals like a pig and glomps her firstborn. I just make a face. Dad arrives home as if he could tell that some major thing was happening at home.

1205: Dad gives Bob a strange look before turning to me and saying, "Yūri, did you know about this?" I nod and then look away, not wanting anyone to know that I'm upset that I'm not the only special person in my family.

1210: Bob and Shōri leave to find my dating-sim loving older brother a suit. I amuse myself for several moments thinking about how rediculous Shōri will look. Murata joins me.

1217: Murata and I leave the house again under the pretense that we are going shopping. We are really going to pick up girls.

1229: Murata gets lucky with the first one he sees. I just stand on the sidewalk like an idiot as they walk away. Seriously, what is up with girls being attracted to guys with glasses?

1233: I see Bob and my "O-nii-sama" at an expensive suit shoppe. I am forced to watch Shōri try on over a hundred different ones. I am bored out of my mind.

1358: After spending over an hour in a suit shoppe, I decide to outlaw them when I get back to Shin Makoku. Bob asks me for the first time why I am on Earth and not there. I shrug. Bob gives one of his dark looks before walking away. I cringe at the thought that we are now enemies.

1432: We find Murata outside an ice cream shop, happily licking an ice cream cone. When I asked him about his girl, he gave a smile and then replied that they had a date next Sunday so I better be available. I feel so used.

1454: Asked Murata when we are going back to Shin Makoku. He says that he is waiting for a "sign from above". I give him my best glare. It doesn't work. Shōri starts going off on Murata about how even if he is the reincarnate of some dead wise man, he can't use me, his "cute little brother" in such a way. Murata whispers in my ear that the "sign from above" has appeared. He grabs my arm and pulls me to the nearest source of water: the sewer.

1500: Shin Makoku has never looked better to me as when Conrad pulled me out of Shinō's fountain and gave me the special smile meant only for me. "Welcome back, Yūri-heika," he whispered. I grinned in response then Wolfram is on top of me, yelling at me about how much of a wimp I am. Ulrike glides into my vision and informs me that Shinō wants to talk to me. I wince. What does the old dead dude want now?

1509: I find out what he wanted. And then I leave the temple.

1517: Greta meets us at the gate and hugs me close as only a cute daughter should which reminds me that I never asked how long I was gone. Turning to Conrad, I ask.

1519: Günter showed up and glomped me, making me forget what I was thinking and it is only after he has hearded me into Gwendal (my)'s office do I think to ask again. Conrad gives me another of his smiles that say he knows more than he is letting on then tells me that I have been gone twenty-seven days and I need to get ready for the party that is happening tonight in honor of Flynn-san's visit from Caloria.

1623: I have gone through all the paperwork that my hand will allow me to do when Greta and Beatrice enter the office, giggling. They produce a cupcake with a miniature me on top, which kinda creeps me out but then it was made by my daughter so I eat it.

1700: I am force fed again. What is up with them force feeding me? Am I a baby that needs to eat at a specific time or my bowls will get messed up?

1734: Gwendal shows up and tells me not to mess up tonight. I stare at him blankly before he tells me that if I do, he'll personally throw me out of the palace. Günter shows up while Gwendal is threating me and glomps him to stop his rant. Gwendal isn't amused.

1800: I play dress up. It was scary.

1823: Party is in full swing despite the early hour. When I ask Conrad about it, he tells me that tomorrow at dawn is the official ceremony to honor the coming of summer. I wish people would tell me these things sooner.

1902: I find myself singing on top of a table. Don't ask how it happened, just know that I am scared for life. And Wolfram now has more blackmail.

1920: Wolfram managed to get me alone and starts talking about the one subject that I have forbidden all from talking about: our marriage. Somehow I managed to get away by faking a stomachache. Maybe it wasn't a lie because after I get to the bathroom, I puke my brains out. Or maybe it was the lamb brains I ate, I'm not quite sure. Perhaps the five servings of curry, I may never know.

1950: Bed time so I can get enough sleep so I don't fall asleep during the festival at dawn.

2009: Wolfram snores louder than my father did when he had a broken nose and Greta keeps kicking me. Finally I can't take it anymore and get out of bed. Wandering around the castle at night has always slightly creeped me out, but it was better than snoring and being kicked in sensitive places.

2014: Conrad finds me sitting at Gwendal's, okay, _my_ desk, gazing at the piles of paperwork and thinking about how Murata has it so much easier than me. Conrad places a hand on my shoulder and we wait in silence. For what I don't know, but it is nice just to have peace and quiet once and a while.

2355: I wake up in my bed, Wolfram and Greta at my sides and then I realize that I had fallen asleep at my desk and Conrad must have carried me back to bed. I grin and snuggle back down. Maybe Murata doesn't have it easier than me after all.


	2. Conrad

A Day in the Life of: Weller Conrart

Author: LonelyWriter42

Summary: Being the Maō's babysitter isn't easy and Conrad would like to tell you all of his woes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyō Kara Maō! only the corner of woe that I sit in when thinking of how I don't own Kyō Kara Maō!

...

0611: I awake to bloodcurdling screams all through the castle. I jump out of bed and run down the corridors, completely ignoring the fact I'm still in my sleeping robe. I pass Dakoskos who gives be a sleepy stare before walking away groaning that he doesn't get paid enough for this.

0619: Get to Haha-ue's room in time to see her wrestle a spider. Score: Cheri 1, spider 0.

0654: The crisis is averted between my mother and the spider that had awoken her and in turn woken the whole castle. Yuri had wandered in about halfway through rubbing his eyes in confusion before stopping and staring in wonder as the former Maō single-handedly beat a spider that was as big as her back into the hole it had climbed out of.

0717: Breakfast is always an enlightening experience with Haha-ue there.

0742: Greta and Haha-ue leave to find Anissina and do girly things while I convince Yuri-heika that he has paperwork to do.

0825: Gwendal is not amused when Yūri-heika decides to take a stroll around the town so he doesn't have to do paperwork. I merely smile and remind my older brother that he was never very devoted to paperwork when he was sixteen, either. Gwendal gives a death glare before walking away to arrange the outing.

0835: Yūri-heika managed to get himself kidnapped, again. Some merchant had jumped out of the crowd and grabbed him and Daikenja and disappeared. Needless to say, I'm not happy. Nor is Günter.

0930: Wolfram has been beside himself ever since Yūri-heika was taken. He has permanently attached himself to my arm and continues to bawl even as I try to figure out where Yūri-heika and Geika could be. For the first time in my life, I become truly angry with my younger brother and tell him such.

1002: Wolfram is curled up in a little ball on the floor, repeating over and over how Yūri is pathetic enough to get himself kidnapped for the second time in as many days. The male clone of my mother is effectively ignoring me for which I'm not sure if I'm happy or not. Wolfram might have pretended to hate me before Yūri-heika came to Shin Makoku, but it was never true hate. Now I'm not sure if it is or not with his glares on my back, which makes me sad.

1013: Günter bursts into the room and yells that he believes he knows where the kidnapper might have taken Yūri-heika. Wolfram jumps to his feet and is ready to run to his fiancée's side, all his former hostility toward me gone for which I am thankful.

1023: We meet with the kidnapper who says that he will return Yūri-heika and Murata-geika if we pay his outrageous fee. Gwendal says that he will consider the offer and then walks away with Wolfram yelling at him that we need to get Yūri back right now.

1043: The kidnapper is getting inpatient with Gwendal, sending a messenger to say that he'll send Yūri-heika back soon, in a box. Günter bursts into hysterics and Wolfram sets the throne room on fire.

1052: Crazed former teacher and little brother are both calmed down enough to start formulating a plan to get the Maō and Daikenja back before they are executed.

1057: Yosak shows up and says that he has seen bocchan and Geika down at the shipyards that are almost an hour away from Blood Pledge castle and wondered why they were there without any guards.

1103: Operation "Save Yūri-heika and Daikenja-geika before execution-kun" starts. We should stop letting Anissina name our rescue missions.

1105: I never knew that Wolfram got land sick, too.

1108: Günter joined in on the land sickness. I did not know that my older bother could squeal like a little girl when his favorite pair of boots got vomit on them, but apparently he could. Yosak will still be laughing months later about it.

1116: Yosak is still laughing as we start to make way again, now on foot because the horses won't let Wolfram and Günter ride anymore.

1132: The horses will now let us ride them for which I am truly thankful. Thank you, horse-kun.

1135: Horses are afraid of snakes. Who knew?

1147: We somehow manage to get our horses back and travel at full speed toward the ship yards, all praying that we are not too late.

1224: When we get to he ship yards, we are greeted with the most unlikely sight possible; I have to do a double take. Yūri-heika, Daikenja-geika, and the kidnapper are sitting around drinking tea and eating finger sandwiches. Our group is then offered tea and sandwiches.

1256: Tuna and cucumber, my favorite sandwich. I have consumed about fifty of them in the short time we have been sitting around. Yūri-heika starts telling us about what happened after he was taken by the merchant with Daikenja-geika interrupting every now and again to explain something left out.

1259: The merchant apologies for kidnapping Yūri-heika to which Yuri-heika just smiles and says that he'd like to meet with the merchant again. Merchant brings out the water works and hugs Yūri-heika.

1300: Still bawling.

1304: Still bawling.

1307: Still bawling.

1310: Has this man taken lessons on how to bawl for ten straight minutes? He has to be dehydrating himself about now.

1311: Merchant stops bawling and then walks away with the silly grin that Yūri-heika induces all the time in complete strangers. Wolfram starts calling Yūri-heika a wimp for getting himself kidnapped.

1315: We are on our way back to Blood Pledge castle when Yūri-heika realizes that he is missing Julia's necklace. My heart stops beating.

1321: We are back at the shipyards, looking for the sleazy merchant that would steal my most prized possession in the world, the only thing that I have of the only Mazoku that could look past the fact I was part human and see the good in my heart, the woman I loved from afar and could never have.

1345: Yūri-heika tried the diplomatic approach to getting the necklace back and when it failed, I took the approach that should have been used from the start and threatened him as sword point. It did the trick and the necklace was soon lying in my palm, the coolness of the stone reminding me once again that Julia was dead. I offer Yūri-heika back the necklace. He places it around his neck and it starts to glow slightly, showing that it is now around the neck of its rightful owner. I turn away so no one could see the tears in my eyes.

1403: We are attacked on the road, but I do not think that the would be villains knew that it was the Maoh they were attaching.

1404: Yūri-heika goes into his supper Maō mode and delivers "Justice" on the bandits.

1405: Yūri-heika is back to normal and now asking the bandits if they would like to come to Blood Pledge castle. Hand, meet my face.

1512: Haha-ue is amused to meet the people that tried to rob us on the road and promptly offers to take them on a tour of the castle. Hand, meet face again.

1515: Haha-ue screams again, though this time is because Raven had just arrived at the castle. She was now glomping him for all he was worth. To Raven's credit, he allowed her to.

1520: Stoffel-oji is trying to convince Yūri-heika of something, I'm not sure what it is, but it can't be good.

1522: Who knew there was a party tonight? I thought that it was next week, but then again, I have been preoccupied all day.

1615: The throne room looks especially good for the fact Wolfram had destroyed it that afternoon. Banners hung everywhere and the soft candle light was enough to make me sleepy and the guests hadn't even arrived yet.

1625: Power naps do the trick. I now feel like I could fight an entire battle without as much as even thinking about sleep.

1630: A quick shower and clean clothing later, I am now ready to beat people that throw themselves at Yūri-heika off with a spoon.

1645: Every one knew that Shinō took great pleasure in pulling pranks, but this was almost too much. Seriously, a wedding cake? That figurine didn't even look like Yūri-heika and Wolfram would never have worn a dress that color. Needless to say, the cake was destroyed by a certain fire user.

1721: The guests have been streaming in slowly for a while now, all commenting on the stickiness of the floor. Yūri-heika just smiles and tells them that can't be, but just then a blob of cake that had ended up on the ceiling fell on his head.

1723: Cake meet Cheri. Cheri, meet cake.

1724: Cake, meet the wrath of the former Maō.

1730: Throne room, meet "Justice" of the current Maō. Guests, dive for cover.

1800: After "Justice" was served on the remaining cake, the party went into full swing and actually didn't make me want to claw my eyes out after a while there.

1805: Conrad, thou speaketh to soon.

1807: Who knew that Shinō was at the party? I thought that he was five inches tall and kept in a box that Daikenja liked to take a wooden mallet to. Apparently my sources need a revision.

1826: Daikenja took care of the Shinō problem, but by that time, the guest were all grumbling and leaving. Maybe we shouldn't plan parties while Shinō is at his temple or at least make Daikenja take care of him the whole time. That had to have been the shortest party I have ever been to.

1952: Strange lights are coming from Yūri-heika's room so I go and check it out. Upon opening the door, I find Yūri-heika, annoying younger brother and adopted niece making shadow puppets on the wall. I smile and then remind them that Yūri-heika needs to be up before the sun tomorrow and get to a good nights sleep. They all smile back before going back to their game. I turn to leave but then Greta asks me if I could make a dragon shadow. I shrug and say that I'm willing to try.

2113: Bad, Conrad. You should have known that making shadow puppets was a bad idea. Keeping Yūri-heika up until this late hour. I continue to chastise myself as I get ready for bed.

2118: Mysterious ticking noises are bad in my experience of living in the same castle as Anissina. I jump out of bed just as the southern tower explodes.

2128: Chaos. Pure chaos is reigning in the castle as we try and figure out what happened to the tower. Anissina claims to have nothing to do with it, but I know she did it, what ever "it" was.

2230: The truth finally comes out about the explosion: _Gwendal_ is the one that did it. Gwendal. My older brother who hates conflicts because they give him headaches. Gwendal, the one that gets up at 0400 hours and starts on paperwork so Yūri-heika won't have as much to do. Gwendal is the one. I am sill in shock.

2245: The day finally comes around full circle as I finally get into bed. Gwendal had not ten minutes ago finally admitted why he blew up the tower. He had been trying to destroy Anissina's latest invention. I should have know, was my last thought as I drifted off into sleep, knowing that tomorrow was going to be just as crazy, and that I would love every minute of it.


	3. Daikenja Murata Ken

A Day in the Life of: Murata Ken, Sōkoku no Daikenja

Author: LonelyWriter42

Summary: Being Shinō's babysitter isn't easy and Murata would like to tell you all about his woes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Kyō Kara Maō! Only the corner of woe that I sit in when thinking of how I don't own Kyō Kara Maō!

...

(Murata's thoughts normal, Shinō's thoughts in _italics_)

1200: Midnight. The loneliest time of the day I think as I drift off into sleep, finally able to block Shinō's inane babble.

0511: Shinō has been whispering stupid nothings in my ear since about midnight when I finally fell asleep after listening to his ramblings. I would like to point out at this time that only in my sleep am I allowed to be free of my past as Shinō's Daikenja so I am usually cranky in the morning as the headache from four thousand years worth of memories takes over.

0534: Blah, blah, blah. That is all I hear as I get dressed. Seriously, Shinō. Say something intelligent for once? _Why?_ Because it would make everyone respect you more. Please, just be quiet. _Fine_.

0545: Ulrike starts the morning ceremony in honor of Shinō. I don't participate. Finally after four thousand years I show my independent streak. _What took so long?_

0555: Shinō, thy name is annoying. I shall now leave you and convince Shibuya to take me back to earth. _But my Daikenja_… Stop whining, Shinō. It makes you look like a two-year-old.

0612: Shibuya looks surprised to see me this early in the morning. Doesn't everyone get up at the crack of dawn? Am I alone in my sanity? _Well_... Don't answer that, Shinō. Your answers make no sense anyway.

0642: Shibuya finally looks more awake after drinking five cups of tea. As I explain my plight, Weller-kyō comes in and calmly tells Shibuya that once again Dai Shimaron is trying to invade Shin Makoku. Von Voltaire-kyō is working on this problem. And supposedly, Cheri-sama is here again, too. This apparently means that I'm not going back to earth any time soon and will have to deal with Shinō's insane babble a little longer. Why, why? _Because. Plus, you know that you like it. I am your only friend, after all._

0705: My life is a living hell. I hate it. _And me?_

0706: No, Shinō, I don't hate you, personally. It's just the concept. Sigh.

0717: _Has anyone ever noticed that Anissina's hair is not red but kinda a pink color?_ Have I finally gone mad? After four thousand years and much gender confusion, I say I'm doing pretty good so far…

0718: HOW DARE YOU HIJACK MY THOUGHTS, SHINŌ? I swear, one of these days… _You'll chicken out and not do anything anyway so stop with the empty threats._

0734: I pull myself out of my internal battle with an annoying blond to realize that everyone is staring at me weirdly. I've noticed that this has been happening a lot. Maybe I should ask Anissina-san to invent a Shinō thought blocker. _But then you'd be lonely…_

0735: On second thought, I don't want to even be in the same room with one of Anissina-san's inventions. They are scary. _And deadly_.

0823: Food, finally. Shibuya, when are you going to realize that I can't function without a proper level of food in my stomach? Don't you remember that one time when I didn't eat for a while? The palace staff sure hasn't. Who wants to spend all morning in a war council, anyway? There are so many more productive things I could be doing. Like ignoring Shinō. _But, but, but…_

0918: Von Voltaire-kyō seems to think that we can avoid war if we give them Shibuya. Everyone stares at him in shock as I burst out laughing. Von Voltaire-kyō finally made a joke and everyone thinks he is being serious. Ah, the joys of having been alive four thousand years. I can tell when someone is serious and when they are joking. No one else has figured out that it is a joke yet and now they are looking at me like I'm crazy. Or maybe they are remembering that incident last week where von Voltaire-kyō was blown up by Anissina-san and I cracked up. Huh. Maybe no one takes me seriously, after all. _No they don't._ Thanks for the reassurance, Shinō.

0959: After they sat in silence for almost ten minutes in wonder at the amazing event at von Voltaire-kyō's joke, they finally got back to debating whether or not they wanted to involve themselves in another war. Personally, I think they are all idiots. _Me too._ You don't have to agree with everything I say, do you? _Maybe…_ It gets annoying after a while you know. _So?_ Never mind. Anyway, after much debate, Shibuya decided… to go see Saralegui. Why? I'm still asking myself that question._ So am I. Seriously, isn't von Bielefeld-kyō threatened by that pretty boy wannabe? I am_…

1016: How has Shibuya decided to travel to see the evil little pretty boy king? By the super power of water transportation. Meaning he is taking me, too._ Why doesn't he just take me? I want to meet Saralegui_. You are dead. That's why. _Oh._

1020: Have I ever said how much I hate getting flushed down water pipes? Sure Shibuya was actually flushed down a toilet, but being forced to go along as a power booster every time is really annoying. _I feel your pain. I've traveled by water pipes, too._ When did you do that? _You don't want to know…_ But now I'm curious…

1032: Weller-kyō feels sexually threatened by Berrias's swordsmanship once again as we arrive in… Saralegui's royal toilet. The only good part about being dragged to Sho Shimaron is the fact I can't hear Shinō's voice. Ah, blessed silence. Now, if something could be done about von Bielefeld-kyō's girly voice. He is a guy after all. I've seen him in the bath. It was kinda scary.

1043: Food! I love food. Food is my true passion. Gosh, I sound like Shinō. Even here I can't escape him.

1056: Something important was said why I was stuffing my face. I missed it and now everyone is staring at me, expecting me to remember what was said while I was ignoring them. I wonder if they want to know a secret: I don't care. Oops. Did I just admit that?

1059: They all keep asking me for advice. Who do they think I am? Daikenja?

1100: That was a joke. Sigh, no one gets my humor.

1102: I have a feeling if I said that out loud everyone would die of shock. Maybe I should… Nah, I'll save it for another day. But seriously, why do they always ask me for advice? Don't they have their own brains? I do get tired of being the only one who has brains. It makes me feel smart in a dumb world.

1107: We (I, as always) have decided to ask Lanzhil for a truce. I know that it won't work but hey, why not? It'll kill some time in which I can come up with a better plan. Unless Lanzhil decides that he really does want peace after all in that case I'll go back to Shin Makoku and be happy. And annoyed by a certain blond. On second thought, I'm all for war with Dai Shimaron if it keeps me here.

1111: Shibuya seems to think that he doesn't want to go to war so I guess that I'll just have to put up with Shinō. I guess I've been doing it for the past four thousand years. What's four thousand more?

1113: Apparently, it will take three days to get to Lanzhil so… We're going by water… again. Why, Shibuya? Why? Do you enjoy tormenting me? You are turning into a mini Shinō.

1143: I refuse to _ever_ travel by water ever again. I don't care if that is the only way for me to get back to my parents and the school where I am still the best student even after skipping most of this year. Sometimes I wish that I wasn't Daikenja's reincarnate. It is hard to have a head full of memories that aren't my own and the fact I have a man that lives inside my head is kinda creepy. One day soon I will be relieved of this duty and I will be free to be just plain old Murata Ken, Japanese school boy. Nothing more. I look forward to that day.

1152: Never mind.

1154: Never mind again.

1157: WHEN WILL THESE PEOPLE STOP TRYING TO KILL ME? What am I, a moving target? Why do they always try to kill Daikenja? What is so special about me? Why don't they go after Shinō? He'd actually _enjoy_ it.

1201: When are they going to give me food? I need it. If they don't I'll refuse to help them. Oh cruel fate, why have you done this to me? Food! Give it to me before I turn into a ravenous beast that eats everyone's left arms minus the thumb 'cause that's not actually a finger.

1203: I swear that Shinō is a bad influence. Did I seriously just have a thought about eating someone's arm minus a thumb? AM I GOING CRAZY?

1207: After searching the surrounding area for Shinō, I find him in Weller-kyō's pack. Suddenly the thought about eating someone's arm makes sense. Thank you, Shinō. At least I know I'm not going crazy. Oh happy day.

1210: They have finally decided to give me food. Oh happy day.

1213: Oh happy day. I've been thinking that a lot recently. Shinō, are you the one really thinking it? _No._ Shinō… _If I admit it, will you not hurt me?_ I don't hurt dead people._ Okay, fine I did it._ I thought as much.

1218: Shibuya looks genuinely surprised that Shinō is here. Why should he? Shinō does weird things like this all the time. What does Ulrike think about you just getting up and leaving? _Well, I didn't tell her…_ I didn't think you did. I'm not going to calm her down when we get back. _You are mean, my Daikenja._ I know.

1220: Song and dance routine by von Christ-kyō. Shibuya looks amused. Weller-kyō annoyed. Von Bielefeld-kyō confused. Shinō just laughed. Sometimes I wonder if I should just put everyone out of their misery… _Mass suicide?_ No._ But…_ Shinō, you are a bad influence. I shall now go and strangle myself. _Can I help?_

1222: Never mind, Shinō. You don't have to do anything ever again. That's why I'm here. No, I do believe that these are my thoughts. Or are they? _They are._ I thought as much. You really are a bad influence.

1228: How much of my day has been lost to arguing with a dead person? I look around me and see that Shibuya is looking like he is going to go Maō, Weller-kyō is fighting off several swordsmen at once and von Bielefeld-kyō is going on about how if it was up to him he would have done everything differently. I'm waiting for everyone to turn on him. _Me too. Wanna take bets on who does it first?_ Sure. Ten on Shibuya.

1234: Shibuya's an idiot. I just wanted to get that out.

1235: SHIBUYA YOU IDIOT.

1236: Why? Why? WHY? IS THE WHOLE WORLD CONSPIRING TO MAKE ME WHAT TO GOUGE OUT MY EYES?

1238: Mama-san looks happy to see us. I'm not happy though. I never wanted to invade a bath ever again. Seriously, Shibuya. Why do you always drag me here when someone is bathing? Shibuya's dad wasn't that happy that we invaded his bath but his mom was sure happy we are home. She throws dry clothes at us and tells us that there is a big pot of curry waiting for us. I turn around and see that Shibuya has that dazed look on his face again like he doesn't know what just happened. Sigh. Why do I always have to be the responsible one? _Because…_

1239: SHINŌ? Why are you here? _The same reason that Weller-kyō and von Bielefeld-kyō and that little blond boy are. Yūri brought me here. Now, are you going to dry off? I don't want you to catch a cold. I'd be bored if you were sick and couldn't talk to me._

1242: Wait a second, if I'm back in Japan that means… FOOD! Mama-san's curry… I begin to drool with anticipation, ignoring the fact that Saralegui had come with us.

1246: Mama-san, I love you.

1247: Am so amused. Brother of my friend is now arguing with Weller-kyō while Shibuya tries to keep von Bielefeld-kyō from talking about the wedding he wants to have with Saralegui shoveling food into his mouth. Shinō has been pretty quiet since we got to earth. Maybe he is experiencing culture shock. I mean, not everybody has a dead animal around their neck here. _I do not have a dead animal around my neck. It is a scarf._ Sure it is…

1253: I love, love, love Mama-san's curry. I might write a song about it. Wait, did I just say that I wanted to write a song about Mama-san's curry? There were points this morning when I thought that I was loosing it, but this might take the cake._ You aren't going crazy. I wouldn't allow it. I wouldn't have anyone to talk to if you did._ Thanks, Shinō. Your reassurances mean _so_ much to me.

1259: We are off… To meet my parents. Gasp. HOW DID YOU CONVINCE ME TO DO THIS? _You know that once I've planted a thought in your head you can't resist me…_

1305: Um…

1306: Yeah. Apparently my mom knows Shinō. They were like, lovers or something… Must go poke out my eyes. _Oh, get over yourself._ Thank you, no. Seriously, my best friend from my first life and my mother. Don't you see how utterly _wrong_ that is, Shinō? _Nope._

1313: 1313, that's interesting… It's kinda like 1111…

1314: All conscious thought is still jumbled and incoherent as my mother continues to glomp mini Shinō. Shinō is talking to me but I still have no idea what is going on.

1316: I have heard that people can come out of comas. I disagree. I don't think that I'll ever get over this.

1319: Dad comes home.

1320: I didn't know my dad could turn puce. I personally think it is a good color for him.

1324: A stream of what I think were swear words escaped my father's mouth as he walked through the door but I'm not sure because I'm still in my mini coma. Then, it happens.

1325: It, it, it…

1327: Never before have I ever wanted to kill Shinō. I guess today is a day of revelations…

1330: Somehow, someway, I have saved Shinō's butt again._ I could have done it myself._ Sure you could have especially after my father decided to kill you. Sigh. My father is a full blooded Mazoku and after he decides to kill something there is no going back. _I am Shinō. I could've saved myself._ Yeah, whatever. So, what did you do to my dad in the first place to make him what to kill you?_ You really want to know?_ With that answer, maybe not._ I'll tell you anyway. It started on a sunny day, I was…_

1345: Shinō is done with his story as I walk back into Shibuya's house. My father and Shinō knew each other in their youth before he made me the Daikenja and screwed around with his sister. This part I'm not sure about that since Shinō doesn't really like girls. Or maybe this was the reason he doesn't like the girls… Shinō? _No comment. Plus, all I did was say she looked nice and somebody took it the wrong way._

1351: Buhahahahahah. I am the Daikenja and don't anyone tell me otherwise.

1352: Wait a second! Shinō! How did you know my mother? _Genshi Miko. The first one._ That makes sense… Anyway, we are now back in Shin Makoku do to my awesomeness. Saralegui acted as if he didn't ever want to go home but I made him because…_ You are Daikenja. All hail your awesomeness._ Now you are making fun of me._ Yes, yes I am._

1400: We, meaning Shibuya and I, not you Shinō, formally give Saralegui back to his cough, babysitter, cough, bodyguard, Berrias. A week had passed since we got to Shibuya's bathtub in the middle of fighting Lanzhil and now, Shin Makoku is at peace again because of von Voltaire-kyō's charm and rock hard beliefs that he is the ultimate male in the universe. Don't you ever tell him that I thought that, Shinō. If you do, I'll kill you. _I'm kinda scared that you described him in that manner…_

1405: I am happy to be back at Shinō's temple.

1406: Why do I always speak too soon? _Because you are an idiot._ No, that would be you.

1409: Blue. Or is it Indigo? Is purple even a color? I've been told that it isn't, that violet is the actual color. _I've always thought that it was purple._ Are you sure? _Positive._

1425: Hahahahahahaha! All hail me! No, really. All hail me. Ulrike just got done scolding the blond idiot while I held him down. Hehehehe. _I will get you one of these days. Have you forgotten that I know where you sleep?_ Have you forgotten that you are dead?

1432: Ah, blissful sleep. Such a nice thing. I know that I've been super cranky today but the annoying blond woke me up at five so I think that I'm allowed. Have I ever pointed out that I love sleep? Sleep and Food, my two true passions. Who cares about knowledge? _Yeah, well you weren't very smart, anyway._ Shinō, those are fighting words.

1433: Strangle… Death... Die… Food…Decapitation…Sleep…

1434: Shinō, if I wasn't dead tired, I'd come over there and introduce you to two of my little friends…_ Yes, what are you going to do? You have no talent at fighting or have you forgotten that I've saved you a grand total of one thousand, seven hundred, eight-six times while you were still in your original body because of those "two little friends." They are better suited to leafing through old books while you pretend to look smart._ You know, if I wasn't so close to dropping off into sleep…_ You'd still do nothing. You always say that you are going to leave me but you never do it. You have a chicken backbone, my Daikenja._

1548: Wake up call from the dead.

1550: It must be a new record for Lanzhil. Two wars in one day (for me). I must say that I'm impressed._ You are always impressed with everything but my accomplishments._ That's because I'm the mastermind behind those._ What about the time I invented that very delicious toasted sandwich?_ That was something I said that gave you that idea, too._ Oh._

1601: Now that I'm up again and Shibuya and co. are making a ruckus, I decide to go into the room with the forbidden boxes so I can think. Naturally Shinō is sitting there waiting for me on Hell's Fire on Frozen Tundra. He gives me the smile meant only for me as I sit next to him on End of the Wind. _How do you think that this war will go?_ No so well for Lanzhil, I can tell you that._ Just as long as you do not remain away from me for to long. I get bored when you aren't here._ You know, that's the nicest thing you've said to me in a long time. _I know. I figured that I better say something nice._

1609: I _soo_ totally don't want to be here right now… Why is Cheri-sama the one giving everyone her advice about this new war? What does she know about warfare? Will Shin Makoku be brought to it's knees because of this? _No. The busty blonde woman does know about warfare. She was Maō after all. Plus, how do you think that she managed to get herself three husbands and several lovers? She's the master at warfare._ You know what? That actually made sense. I congratulate you, Shinō. First time in a long time._ Are you rolling your eyes at me?_ Maybe…

1618: Blah, Blah, Blah, Shinō.

1623: I feel so used. Usually it's Shibuya that I use but this time… He used me…_ That's because you have no backbone and you never stand up to anyone. If Yūri really wanted to, he could control everything. Now get over it and like a good little boy, go do what he wants you to do._ What if I refused?_ Then I will make you._

1643: I have accomplished the task given to me by Shibuya. I have drawn up a plan that will force Lanzhil to accept the fact that he can not wage war any more because… Weller-kyō will be king. Very rarely have I seen such ties that run so deep as the ones that keep Shibuya and Weller-kyō together. Weller-kyō would do anything for Shibuya and Shibuya once abandoned his throne to go and find Weller-kyō. I shake my head in wonder. Only one other relationship is deeper than theirs. The one I share with Shinō. _And don't you forget it._ Like I could.

1650: Is it just me or did I just see a rabbit yelling about the time and then dashing down a hole? Wait a second! I pinch myself as hard as I can and… I wake up.

1652: What the floogly heck?

1653: SHINŌ.

1700: You enjoy this, don't you? _Yes._

1702 (1202): It was all a lie. A horrid, boring lie. This whole day was thought up by Shinō while I slept and somehow he managed to project it into my dreams. I roll over in bed and look up at the moon through the window in my room. Is tomorrow going to be as interesting as the one Shinō showed me? I wonder as I stand up and go to the window. That day was crazy, but nothing like some of the others we encountered. So, Shinō… _Yes?_ What are you planning for tomorrow?_ Well… It might be like this dream…_ Great.

1203: Shinō, I love you. _By "I love you" do you mean always keep one eye on you always? _If you mean I will kill you when you're not looking, then yes.

1204: I've always heard that if you put the lime in the coconut you'll feel better in the morning. But I have an even better remedy: take two sleeping pills and ignore idiot blond until morning.


End file.
